Apologies to the man at Home Depot, who was only doing his job when he asked us if we needed help.
It is a loaded question these days.
It is nearly Christmas. I can’t get away from people asking me if I am ready for it. What is it about this sacred day that makes us so frantic with preparation, with getting it right? What is it we think we are supposed to do? Also, the planet is warming. Millions of Christian evangelicals just voted for Donald Trump.
Did we need help?
“Cosmically?” I said. “Cosmically, yes, we need help. But otherwise, for now, I think we’re OK.”
The Home Depot man looked a little put out. He was not happy with this response. Neither was the rest of my family, who looked at me as if I was losing my mind.
Maybe I am, a little.
I just know that I answered his question truthfully, that the response came from somewhere deep inside. Yes, I need help. It is so dark out. Sometimes, I am sad. I think of my friends walking through difficult divorces. The local families who just lost their children in a car accident, days before Christmas. Oh, and the whole Trump thing. Yes, some big help would be nice right about now.
Funny that we are in Advent now, a season of waiting. What are we waiting for?
Right now, I can think I am waiting for the moment when the lead up to Christmas will feel just right, when I will finally rejoice in the Christmas spirit. When I will have spent an appropriate amount of money on gifts and not have a spending hangover, as Dave Ramsey calls it. When the lights will be strung, the baking done, the Christmas movies watched, the carols played. I will at last be able to say, “I am ready for Christmas!”
I am not ready for Christmas. Is anybody ever? Does this even exist?
Instead, I should sit in silence. That is what these pages are all about, right? Honestly, though, it is not my normal response to things. I am going to return to my sacred word, and know that I am loved, loved, loved, and being “ready for Christmas” has nothing to do with it. I will remember that Advent is about waiting, but not for Christmas preparations to be done so we can have the perfect holiday. Advent is about waiting for help. For someone, or something, that will fix all that is broken. And believing it will come, has already come, will continue to come. Not usually where I expect it. Maybe not at Home Depot. Or maybe that is an OK place to start after all.
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