A Blackberry Project Confession

Today, I moved leaves around in the backyard and then spent too much time trimming blackberries. I set my timer for 20 minutes, and planned to do my usual “blackberry project” clearing. I even filmed the beginning. But then I started to uncover long, brittle canes, sort of the grandmothers and grandfathers of the green vines that have been plaguing me. Over the years, the canes had formed dense mats of brittle, brown, thorny vines that had completely choked out all other vegetation, except for their children and grandchildren vines, which were flourishing above them. With a simple cut, and a bit of wrestling, the canes started to pull loose.  I bet one of them was at least 15 feet long.  Underneath, there was healthy, rich, blackberry free dirt , something which I had never seen on this part of the property. Getting to the bottom of one of those areas and finding the dirt underneath? That was so encouraging.  With patient cutting, I was able to free a whole new section of land. Even got some vines out of a tree. That’s my favorite thing. To help set the trees free from the choking, invasive vines.

Except I worked at it for too long.

My 20 minute timer went off, and I ignored it. There’s a reason that I try to limit my blackberry clearing to 20 minute at a time It’s exhausting work, and also a little rough. Even though I wear pants and long sleeves, the tricky vines fight back. I usually end up with scratches, splinters, and even small cuts. I knew I should stop, felt like I was getting tired, but I kept wanting to do just a little more: make one more cut, add one more vine to the pile, cut the right vine that will free the tree a little more, cut another right vine that will eliminate the vine trail that was obnoxiously creeping toward the road.

I did a lot of good work today, but it came at a cost. I’m pretty tired now. Here’s the pile that I made:

Clearly, that is more than 20 minutes of work. I think it’s even bigger than I am.

I will try to go back out tomorrow, and actually honor the boundary that I set for myself: 20 minutes of clearing. 20 minutes, and I would still have energy to write. 20 minutes, and I would still make progress. 20 minutes, and I would still have something left to give to all the other important parts of my life, instead of feeling completely drained and barely able to move.

Because the blackberry project is not something that I can finish in one day.

It’s supposed to help me see how a little bit of commitment over a long period of time can change everything.

I guess that I’m not as patient with the process as I thought. I’d like the whole thing done now, thank you very much.  Note to self: that’s not going to happen.  And what do I think would happen if I actually did “finish” the project, if every single blackberry vine was banished from the property? I would still need to be aware and watchful. Someday soon, a sweet bird would inevitably drop a seed, and the next generation of invasive vines would begin to grow again.  I will always need to be present to what is going on here. I will always need to pay attention.  I think that is one of the gifts of this project for me.

Thankfully, tomorrow, I can begin again.