When Wearing a Mask Somehow Makes You More Comfortable

Smiling? Frowning? Who can tell?

I noticed last night for the first time at the grocery store that my protective face mask wasn’t bothering me. Up until then, I’d felt self-conscious and uncomfortable. Yesterday, though, it seemed like it took some pressure off me. Usually when I’m at the store, I feel compelled to acknowledge my fellow shoppers, to give a little nod or smile to anyone coming down the aisle in my direction. I don’t think about this consciously, but it’s something I always do, almost like breathing. I want to be a kind person, to be pleasant.  Maybe part of me hopes that it’s a small way to be like Jesus. I picture Jesus wheeling his cart down the aisle of Safeway or Grocery Outlet and am pretty sure that he would find a way to acknowledge and appreciate everyone he encountered.

But last night, I suddenly realized that I didn’t have to smile because no one could see my mouth. You have no idea how freeing that was!

Because honestly it had been a long day, and I was tired and a little sad, and I didn’t feel like smiling. At all.  I thought about this several times during my short shopping trip, as I  maneuvered around the store, through produce, to meat, to dairy. Other shoppers would approach (maintaining a respectable six-foot distance from me), and I realized gratefully again and again that I didn’t have to look at them. It was such a relief! Who knew that all that smiling took so much effort? It was lovely to just stay frowny faced behind my mask, and finally at the checkout not to feel compelled to make cheerful small talk with the cashier, except to say thank you. I made sure to thank him, of course, because grocery store workers deserve all of our thanks now. But even then, I was glad that I didn’t have to smile.