When Wednesday Becomes Hump Day

Today is Wednesday, otherwise known as “hump day.” Most everyone knows that this is the day that is halfway through the work week, and once you get past it, you only have one full work day before Friday, and then the weekend, which is two glorious days when you don’t have to go to work AT ALL. But then Sunday comes, and the Sunday Sadness, because Monday is right there again.

It’s been a long time since I’ve thought about Wednesday as “hump day.” In my twenty years as a massage therapist, I’ve just worked whenever my clients wanted appointments. My schedule is not so very busy, though, so I rarely have sessions five days a week. More often, it’s Fridays and Saturdays and maybe another day or two midweek if I’m lucky.

I was acutely aware that today was Wednesday, though. I received my substitute teaching credential a few weeks ago, and I have my first five day gig this week with a small group of first and second graders at our little mountain school. Their teacher, who they love, has urgent family business that she must tend to.

I am grateful for the chance to be working at the school. These are good kids! There are only eleven of them! It is only a four hour day because of the COVID, from 8:30am-12:30pm. There are two short recesses factored in there that take up a little more than half an hour. Easy peasy, right?

Not so much.

I am exhausted.

I am only 3/5 of the way through the week! There are still two whole days to go.

It’s not like it’s even my first time in a classroom. I taught seventh and eighth grade English and Spanish many years ago, back when I was newly married. I made it through three years before I decided to go to massage school. Sometimes I have wondered about that decision, how my life would have been if I would have powered through some of the hard times and kept up my credential. I realized today that my former middle school students are all in their 30s now. Quite possibly, the kiddos I’m subbing with right now would be the ages of their children. I could be teaching my second generation!

I confess that yesterday was a bit of a shaky day. Mostly, the kids were on task and doing their assigned work. Mostly. Which means that there were one or two that were not. I asked one little guy to do something simple, maybe pick up a paper he dropped? And he simply replied, “No.”

Well, then.

That wasn’t what I was expecting. If it had been my own classroom, I would have had a plan for that kind of response. Some kind of simple consequence. But it wasn’t my classroom, and I was caught completely off guard.

“Mmmm,” I said.

And that was all.

The paper stayed on the floor.

I sent an email to their good teacher asking if she had any suggestions, and she did. Take a few minutes off recess time, perhaps. And definitely let him know that I had talked to her.

So today was better, but the rest of the week looms long.  I’m trying to fill the time they have with me in a positive, productive way. The teacher left clear lesson plans and lots of papers for them to work on, but it seems like they are missing the activities and fun things that they usually do with her, and who can blame them? One little girl started to cry when we had science AGAIN today, because they don’t DO science everyday. She also said she was crying because she missed her teacher so much.

I’ve been reading books aloud until my mask is dripping. I dug through my children’s old books on our family bookshelves and brought in some that I thought they would love. I pulled out the “Sight Word Bingo Game” that the teacher had stashed in the corner and even dug around in my desk drawer at home for stickers that I could give for prizes.  Some of the kids said that bingo was boring and didn’t want to do it. But the other half enjoyed it. And one little girl drew me a picture afterwards that said, “I like you!” So there’s that.

Thankfully, some of my old classroom management tips are coming back. Move around the room. Stand casually next to the rowdy ones. Catch them doing something right. Say, “I LOVE how Morgan is sitting so quietly and writing his spelling words!” Call out, “One, two, three, eyes on me!” Hope that they remember to respond, “One, two, eyes on you,” because if they don’t, you feel a little silly.

There is a movement in education today. I first became aware of it a few years ago in my son’s seventh grade math class. Teachers are trying to foster a “growth mindset” in their students. In math, that means that you don’t get discouraged if you get the wrong answer. Instead, you tell yourself that you are learning and will get better. You keep trying. You never say you are “bad at math,” or “bad at anything,” actually. You don’t give up.

Yesterday, when I was feeling a little sad about how the day went, I realized that I could think about the rough parts of the day with a “growth mindset” attitude. Maybe another name for “growth mindset” is grace.

And grace isn’t just for little ones who are learning to read and add and subtract. It’s for all of us.

Because what good does it do for me to endlessly criticize myself and feel bad? I am only beginning my journey as a substitute teacher. And frankly, this is not easy work. I challenge anyone who thinks it is to step into a classroom and try it. I will get more comfortable as I have more time in different classrooms with different students. I’m allowed to make mistakes and practice. I just need to keep showing up. I think today went better, partly because I was able to reframe it that way.  Grace for the kids, grace for me, grace for all of us.