Today, I realized that I have been working on this blog for nearly a year without publishing it. I have been afraid of how people will respond. (Note to self: chances are good that no one will!) I am afraid of offending and saying the wrong thing. I am afraid of accidentally alienating people that I love, of doing some kind of irreparable harm. I know there is power in words. Maybe it is better to just be quiet.
This is a long time to live in fear. It is a long time to work and dream and fiddle without publishing. It is also a sad statement on how much I still value security, and esteem, and power. News flash: when Father Keating says these things can’t make you happy, he was right. I would like the power to make sure that no harm comes from my words, and that people like me a lot, and that I am appreciated and commended. I have walked for a long time on that road. It’s not getting me anywhere good.
So I remember. Again. Power, esteem, and security don’t bring happiness. It’s all about being content with God’s love alone.
Maybe it’s time to hit the publish button. And trust the path that moves on from here.
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