A Long Goodbye

Yep. It’s my check engine light. Still shining brightly.

I went to Costco this week and had my tires rotated. I have been driving the 2005 Corolla that I inherited from my parents for years. It had about 75,000 miles on it when I got it. I’m up to nearly 260,000 now. I had every intention of driving that car past the 300,000 mile mark. We’d done it in past years with our 2004 Honda CRV and, a decade earlier, in our 1985 Honda Accord. But the check engine light came on a few weeks ago, a death sentence for cars in California. People in other states can drive cars with that light on forever. It doesn’t always mean that something is seriously wrong. But a car with an illuminated check engine light won’t pass a smog test here, and cars that don’t pass smog tests can’t be registered. 

My registration isn’t due until March of next year, so I still have a few months to enjoy this car. It’s old, I know. It’s battered and has dings. I love it though. I love that I can open the little cubby to the left of the steering wheel and find a yellowed newspaper clipping that showed the call letters of all the local radio stations. My Dad was a big baseball fan and would listen to games on the radio whenever he was out and about. I love that my Mom had granola bars in the glove box, because she had diabetes toward the end of her life, and sometimes needed a quick snack. Is it terrible that I kept one of those bars there? I would never eat it. But it keeps her close in some way.

I wonder how much money to invest in maintenance now. The Costco tire rep said that the tires aren’t wearing evenly, that it might be time for an alignment. I know I’ll also need new brakes soon and an oil change.

It’s a long goodbye.

California has a program where they give you money to buy back a car that won’t smog. You just have to make sure that the car runs long enough to make it to the shop where they take cars in. I hate the thought of driving this car to a place where they would dismantle her. But I could use the money to help buy something different, something with less mileage.

Of course, I could always keep the car and pay to fix the issue. The code reader says that the check engine light indicates a transmission problem, one that would best be remedied by installing a new transmission, which would cost three to four thousand dollars. That would be a lot of money to invest in a car that is already so old, even one that I love so much.

So I will drive it. I will drive it as long as I can, and then I will be grateful that the state will help me, at least a little, with the cost of getting a different car. I will empty the glove box. I will save the yellowed newspaper clipping, the owner’s manual, even the granola bar (maybe the granola bar?). They will have a new home in whatever car I am lucky enough to buy next.