Presence, Security

Blackberry Therapy

November 16, 2024
(although I would certainly benefit from actual therapy with a genuine therapist, too. Because that’s the kind of month it’s been.)

Some of the weeds that I tackled this week. The one in the foreground? It’s possibly even more terrible than the blackberry vines! Its seeds have barbed ends that stick to everything: my clothes, my gloves, my hair!

I wonder how you are feeling now that the 2024 presidential election is over and more than a week has passed. I mentioned to someone the other day that I was terrified, and they looked a little puzzled and asked me why?

I was not brave at that moment. I did not say much. Just mumbled something about Elon Musk, that I didn’t think he should be part of meetings with officials from other countries, like Iran. Or Ukraine. But that was only a very small part of what is frightening me right now.

(That is something that I need to get better at: telling people outside of my trusted circle the truth about how the election affected me and why I am scared.)

Maybe whether or not you are terrified by the election results depends on who you love, who you know. If you love someone who is trans or is anywhere on the LGBTQ+ spectrum, or someone who is a legal immigrant, or someone who has a pregnancy that is threatening her life but who lives in a state with abortion restrictions? Then maybe you are terrified, too. Maybe you understand.

It has everything to do with the people that you love.

But here’s the thing. I think we are supposed to love everyone. One of the big commandments that Jesus gives is to “love your neighbor as yourself,” at which point he tells the story of the good Samaritan. Much to the disciples’ surprise (and possibly dismay), in Jesus’ playbook, neighbors care for strangers at personal expense, without regard to race, class, or religion. Without regard to anything. Basically, Jesus is saying that we are to be neighbors to everybody and that everybody is a neighbor. And also? This love is a good thing (though I wonder what it means to love the people who are enacting the policies that are frightening me now. Love for them probably means speaking truth to power, which is scary too, because historically folks who did this often ended up dead).

Anyway.

Lots of our neighbors will be hurt by the policies that Trump is pledging to enact. Also, the earth. The earth will continue to warm. Trump and his cronies apparently do not care.

It’s a lot.

So this week, when sadness and despair threatened to overwhelm me, when I could, I went outside. Outside is what is helping me now. I went outside with my clippers, and I worked again on the invasive blackberry vines that cover a good part of my property. When I am attacking invasive blackberry vines, I am not thinking about the election or who Trump is picking for his cabinet  (the ones he’s picked so far without exception make me sick to my stomach). I called the trash company last week and paid for an extra trash can until the end of the year. It’s about $5.00 extra a week, which pencils out to be cheap therapy for me. You can fit an amazing amount of blackberry vines in a regular outdoor trashcan if you cut them into tiny pieces and smash them down (the smashing and chopping  feel therapeutic, too, a nice way to get anger out). In past years, I paid somebody to come and haul away the piles I made. Feels like I’ve taken some of my power back, by doing the work myself and loading the waste into not one but two trash cans, and sending them off every Friday with the trash collectors.

My mantra these days: When in doubt, go outside.

When in despair? Go outside.

Just go.

I need a list of other things that help, since I can’t be outside every minute of the day. So far my list includes: friends (like all of you who are still here). Writing. Community. Community writing. Hot baths with Epsom salts. Sparkling water (I like Waterloo’s Blackberry Lemonade flavor.) Dark chocolate. Walks with Biscuit. Tea. The library. Chiropractic adjustments. Houseplants. Spreading California poppy and wildflower seeds.

I bet you have other things that you could add. Go ahead and add them below or drop me a note. Maybe we can help each other.

By the way, my friend gave me her surefire recipe for killing invasive blackberry plants. It’s a mixture of salt, strong vinegar like the kind you buy at Home Depot, and dish soap. I’m grateful it rained this week; after the ground dries a bit I’ll go out and spray some of that concoction on the vines’ roots. It will give me another good reason to be outside.

Presence, Security

Election Lament

November 9, 2024

I’ve found plenty of ways to procrastinate this evening. I’ve been sitting at the computer, thinking about writing. But first? I ate a few bites of chocolate ice cream out of the carton. I drank the last of my can of sparkling water. I got another one out of the refrigerator, because hydration is important. I went to the Kohl’s website and spent some of the money that I’d saved for their annual Black Friday sale, which opened this weekend, even though we are still technically weeks away from that day. Every year, they have jeans that I like and other items of clothing that I prefer not to mention on sale. Every year, I stock up right about now. Online shopping is easier than writing, especially writing after a week like this one.

Another confession: Grocery Outlet had a few Costco-sized bags of Skinny Pop left on the shelf this week. When I stopped at the store late Wednesday after work, I bought another one. Even though I had pledged that I would do my best to avoid those things, being that I find it difficult to limit myself to a serving or two and can stress eat through an entire bag in a remarkably short time. “To heck with that,” I thought. “If there has ever been a week when I can justify plowing my way through a huge bag of Skinny Pop, it’s now.”

Because this week was one for the history books.

You might argue that I’m being overly dramatic, but it feels like Tuesday’s election ushered in Good Friday, but now it’s Saturday, and Sunday will be years away (at least four, but possibly more depending on how our democracy weathers these challenges). I have long loved Tony Campolo’s “It’s Friday, but Sunday’s Comin’!” sermon, one of my favorite things to watch around Easter. You can watch it here:  Tony Campolo “It’s Friday!” Clip. Saturday was a rotten day for Jesus’ disciples, back in the day. They watched Jesus die, and that was terrible, and then they woke up on Saturday and He was still dead, and that was horrific, but then Sunday came! They only had to make it through the weekend and they got to see Him again. They got resurrection. Continue Reading…